code masturbation
by THEUNSTOPABLE
Summary: masturbation is cool
1. Chapter 1

I don't own code lyoko but I do own the latest Justin bieber porn but that is besides the point. So yeah I don't own code lyoko. ALSO FUCK THE FANFICTION ADMINS

It was a cold long night and tired of trying to get out of studing Odd decided to have a long 12 hours of sleep. Odd got into bed and felt a long painful itch in his penis. Tired of this painful itch he has been having every night odd got kiwi his dog and grabbed his pawl and began using it to scratch it. but it turned out to be a painful mistake as blood began to appear from Odd's testicles. Kiwi who couldn't handle seeing blood began to puke all over odd's testicles.

"Damn it Kiwi." said odd crying over the pain in his testicles.

Odd got up and grabbed a large roll of toilet paper and used it to clean the bloody puke from his small testicles. Odd then remember what his dad told him last summer.

"odd remember if you feel a painful itch in your penis. just masturbate." said Odd's dad

"What is

"Just grabbed your dick and move it around while thinking of hot ladies and um.-

Odd's dad whispered the rest into Odd's ear.

"Great I have to masturbate." said Odd in the present

Odd got back into bed and began to masturbate. The masturbate stopped the bleeding as well as the itch and Odd's penis and testicles turned back to normal.

"Now bed time." said Odd falling asleep.

The next day Odd rushed to get some breakfast and found all the food to be in the shape of dicks.

"corn dogs, hot dogs, even popsicles." said Odd happily.

There was a large banner in the school showing the new game South Park The Stick Of Truth with all the characters and a new one showing a question mark.

"Oh I love that game." said Odd happily.

Suddenly Jeremy appeared.

"Odd xana launched another attack."

Odd who just wanted to eat decided to break the gentleman's oath and fart on Jeremy's balls.

"Shut the fuck up Einstein." yelled Odd kicking Jeremy in the testicles.

Jeremy was on the ground moaning.

"Now breakfast." yelled Odd in excitement.

Ulrich suddenly appeared and punched odd in his fucking head

"owe what the fuck are you doing asshole." yelled odd in anger

Odd tried to kick Ulrich but Ulrich knocked him out with a double sex combo punch of masturbation

"Learn to stop being a pussy Odd." said Ulrich in extreme laughter

Odd got up and tried to get revenge but Ulrich knocked him out a large flying kick of flaming shit.

"I will kick your ass one of these days." said Odd moaning.

"yeah yeah what ever you say shithead." said Ulrich taking Odd's food

Xana was hiding in his secret sex base of masturbation.

"I will turn water into masturbation juice." xana said to himself.

It was another boring day in science class.

"Now then-

Odd walked up to the chalkboard and began taking a piss spelling the briefly legible leaders S-C-I-E-N-C-E- S-U-C-K-S- N-O-W-S-U-C-K-M-Y-D-I-C-K

"Odd don't you have a better place to-

Odd shoved his hand up in his ass and pulled out a large turd and tossed it at the teacher. distracted the teacher tried to clean the shit from her self when Odd pulled out a large hammer out of nowhere and knocked her out.

"No one messes with me." said Odd

Ulrich walked up to Odd and took the hammer out of his hand and smacked him hard on the fucking head knocking his fatass out.

"I am keeping this." said Ulrich happily

Odd got up and pulled out a large dildo shaped sword from his ass and got into a fight with Ulrich.

"odd you always lose against me so why bother you punk ass bitch." said Ulrich laughing his ass off.

"Screw you I have a lot of weapons." said Odd angrily

When it looked like Odd was getting the upper hand Ulrich managed to knocked the sword out of Odd's hand.

"Damn it." yelled Odd angrily while Ulrich knocked his ass out again.

"Does this always happen?" Said now getting up

"Yes." said Jeremy in a tone like he doesn't really give a fuck.

The bell suddenly rang and since he wasn't that much of a bitch Ulrich woke Odd up by slamming the hammer on his testicles.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." yelled Odd in pain.

Ulrich and Odd began walking to teh dorms

"Man today's lesson wqas fun." said Odd

"We didn't get to the lesson." said ulrich slapping Odd on the back of the head for being dumb "retard"

Odd pulled out a giant small buzz saw and threw it at cutting his arm off.

"Damn." said Ulrcih.

"Having a bad day?" asked Odd.

Ulrich who was extremly pissed grabbed his hammer and smacked Odd across his fucking retarted face. Thinking carefully Odd remember the other thing his dad taught him.

"Remember son if put make someone rink your masturbation juice they will become extremly sick and it could stall them enough to kick their ass." said Odd's dad

"I can'-

"Only use it in a fight son other wise you will be a douchebag." said Odd's dad.

"Okay and also girls too." said Odd

"yes them too." said Odd's dad

Odd grabbed his masturbation juice he happened to put into a bottle just in case there was another itch and poured it down ulrich's throat

"Odd this crap is awf-

Ulrich fell to the ground unconicous . Odd grabbed the hammer and poured the remaining juice on it. the hammer bagan glowing until it transformed into a glowing light stick.

"Sweet!" said Odd swinging the sword towards ulrich

Ulrich's head was chopped off and his brain flew across the room.

"That was awesome." said Odd and amazement.

Sudenly the science teacher apperaed and was in horror with what happened.

"Young man you are in big trouble."

odd sliced her fucking head off too.

"I am keeping this." said Odd.

Odd walked back to his room ready to see and laugh at the others reaction.


	2. Chapter 2

After** a few months of thinking in my sacred hideout where i relax my writing genius brain.(took a lengthy break due to drama with other writers who hopefully forgive me.) I have decided to continue my fanfics without any trouble. I am done with the drama and i won't explain it here due to wanting to get pass it. Now i hope they have no issues with this fanfic now that i removed the things they complained about.**

**I don't own code lyoko but i do own the original characters that appear in this chapter. Code lyoko is owned by moonscope.(Who should have left the show dead. I thought cn real was bad but this makes cn real look like ed edd n eddy worthy of gold. If that even makes sense.) **

**Enough stalling it's time to start the chapter!**

Odd with the glowing light stick in his hand walked casually down the dormitory hallway like nothing out of the ordinary has happened.

"I wonder what is for dinner" Odd asked him self while expecting his new glowing weapon.

Odd presed a shiny red button and the light stick deactivated by going back into the handle.

"Cool! I can activate and deactivate this awesome weapon when ever i want." Odd thought happily.

Odd put the deactivated light stick in his pocket for later. After a few seconds of walking Odd remember i last thing his father told him last summer.

"Odd remember putting masturbation juice on weapons makes them stronger due to all the sex energy being applied." Odd's dad told Odd.

"Cool now i need a weapon" said Odd in the past.

"Whoa easy son. You are too young to handle powerful weapons of sex or masturbation to be more correct about it." Said Odd's dad in a serious tone.

"Dad please i swear i can handle it." Said Odd determined to get his own sex or masturbation weapon.

"Son it's a huge responsibility. These weapons could save or destroy the entire world. Only the very best can be trusted with them." Said Odd's dad in an even more serious tone.

"All right dad i will wait." Said Odd painfully.

Odd in the present continued to walk with a smirk that he finally got his own masturbation weapon. After a few minutes he made it in the dormitory witn the others. When Jeremy saw him he backed away in fear.

"Relax einstein as long as you don't piss me off you're safe." Odd said laughing his ass off.

"Odd that was rude of you to kick jeremy in the balls what do you have to say for yourself." Yumi said looking at Odd like he was hitler.

"Jeremy had it easy compared to Ulrich." Said Odd showing the gang Ulrich's heart that he decided to collect as a trophy.

"Odd what happened ?" Asked Aelita in complete horror.

"I killed him because i got tired of him treating me like a bitch." Odd said like it wasn't a big deal.

"You what?" The gang asked in horror.

" Yeah i cut his arm off so he tried to kill me. But i poured my masturbation juice down his throat which knocked him out. I then poured it on my sword which turned it into this." Said odd showing the gang his new glowing weapon.

"Odd you are fucked up in the head." Said yumi angrily

"And you are a total bitch. Seriously you should be a hooker" Odd said to yumi while pointing his glowing sword at her.

"Whatever you say honey." Said yumi taking off all her clothes.

"Whoa now we're talking." Said odd happily.

"Odd what did you do." Asked jermery looking at the scene with great dislike.

"Shut up faggot. She is much better now." Odd said so angrilly he dropped his glowing weapon.

Yumi looked at the rest with looks of horror. She quickly got her clothes and put them back on hiding her sightly larger tha normal boobies.

"What happened?" Asked yumi.

"Yeah what did happen Odd" Aelita said in a serious angry tone.

"My masturbation weapon seems to have the power to increase sexual urges in people who has little to no self control." Odd explained

"How do you know einstein" Jermery asked

"Who has dated more girls? This stuff is second nature to me." Odd explained again.

"What do you mean little to no self control." Yumi asked

"No offense yumi you weak little bitch. When you think about something you just do it without thinking. You have no thoughts to reconsider. That is why you are weak enough to be under my control." Odd explained once again.

"Odd i swear if you do that again i will do what ulrich should have done." Yumi said angrily.

Odd looked at yumi with a smirk. The others had look of horror on their faces.

"Time for bed." Odd said leaving to get another 12 hours of sleep.

Edward price was working on a highly important case. ( who took his damn big ass doughnut.) To his horror it was his little puppy who was only a weak old.

"Damn you you for a red rocket." Said edward price rubbing the puppy's dick causing masturbation juice to appear on his puppy

The puppy moaned in pain.

"Serves you right you little bitch." Said Edward looking pleased at the situation.

Edward pulled out his gun and pointing it at his puppy unaware of it changing into a glowing laser blaster.

"No one messes with detective Edward john price. Not even the fucking niggar ass president of the united states. I eat chicken as good as any niggar. Fucking asshole." Edward said laughing his ass off.

Edward put his gun away still unaware of it's transformation. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and edward answered,

"Edward detective megan here. I caught these two out causing a riot downtown."

Two people appeared. One was a fat drunk man looking like he was a gay man who hasn't come out of the closet yet. The other was an ugly girl who looked like a total bitch. She also doesn't seem to know the drunk man by her is gay.

"Ok what the hell was going on." Said edward seriously

"My no good husband decided to get drunk again, go down to mexico to buy illegal firworks and come back to blow houses in honor of fucking america." Said the woman.

"It was for the american spirit." Said the man.

"But the part that i don't get is our son. I haven't seen him since before my husband left." Said the woman.

"How did you think i got the fireworks cheaper than usual." Said the man

"You sold our son for fireworks? You bastard!" Said the woman angrilly.

"Screw you bitch. I never loved you anyway. I am gay. I love penises." Said the man angrilly.

"You have been lying to me for years. You fucking asshole." Said the woman angrily

"Only because you wouldn't stop harassing me. Bitch" said the man angrily.

"Enough. Miss leave me to deal with your husband." Said edward.

"Ok." Said the woman leaving.

Edward grabbed his gun still unaware of the change.

" All right here is the deal. I have always needed fireworks to destroy my neighbor's house to stop his little bitch from crapping on my lawn. So i'll take these in exchange for your freedom." Said edward.

"Deal." Said the man giving edward the fireworks.

"Edward you are corrupt! I am report-

"Megan. Don't make me." Said edward pulling out his gun finally noticing the change.

Megan was beyond scared. She ran the hell out.

"Nice little upgrade. Now really no one can mess with me. I quess i didn't need the fireworks after all. Might as well pay that man a nice little visit." Said edward happy that he has fucking power to do what ever he wants

"All units there was two murders at katoic. Calling all units" edward heard on his police communicater.

"Time to roll!" Said edward smiling at his newly upgraded gun.

**I am going to answer now the man and woman are not characters i used before that caused issues. They are unimportant so i didn't even bother to name them. They may have similar characteristics but they are not the same characters. Hope that clears everything up. And using them don't cause anymore issues. Goodbye everyone and have a good day.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Welcome to the next chapter of code masturbation. Does not require condoms and you can't get STDs. Now last time odd toprincipalhe gang he killed ulrich to their horror and edward price a cop is on his way to the school who knows what will happen next. In this exciting fanfic.**

**I don't own code lyoko moonscope does. But i do own my original ocs that do.**

* * *

Xana was still plotting in his secret cave of masturbation,

"If i turn water into masturbation juice. No human will survive without water. And some will make masturbation weapons and will end up killing each other." Xana said laughing the brilliance of his plan.

Xana created many polymorphic clones.

"Masturbate and put all the juice in jars so we may infect the earth." Xana ordered his clones.

* * *

The principal was in his office cooking some lovely microwave popcorn while pouring some ice cold soda into his giant ass cup. He walked back to his chair to relax before the popcorn is ready. Right before he could get up to get the popcorn when it was ready there was a knock on his door. it was Jeremy, yumi, and aelita.

"What do you kids want? i am busy!" said the principal taking a big sip of soda.

"Sir our friend Odd killed Ulrich and the science teacher." the lyoko warriors said at the same time.

"is this some kind of Joke. well i am not buying it." said the principal taking another sip of soda.

"sir we are serious." said Jeremy

"Really kids. On some days I need a break from your antics. i can't have one day-

The microwave beeped showing the popcorn was done. The principal walked towards it and got his popcorn.

"Sir please just check for yourself." Jeremy said in a serious tone.

The principal poured the popcorn into a large bowl.

"Fine but you kids better not be lying or your asses are mine." said the principal eating a hand full of popcorn and taking one last sip of soda.

The lyoko warriors led the principal to the place Odd killed Ulrich and the science teacher.

"Oh my god. you faggot ass kids weren't lying or pulling another stunt. Where ever that jack ass is, he won't get away." said the principal.

"We already called the police." the lyoko warriors told the principal.

"Good. i will go wait for them out front." the principal said leaving the group to themselves.

"What do you guys think will happen to Odd." Aelita asked.

"I don't know or care but if he returns i will make sure he gets what he deserves for killing Ulrich." Yumi said furiously.

"I hope he gets put on death row." Jeremy said smiling at that thought.

"guys he is our friend-

"Aelita he commited murder he deserves what ever will happen to him." Jeremy and Yumi said furiously.

Jeremy and Yumi left Aelita alone to her thoughts.

"But he shouldn't be arrested. i am sure it was an accident. he is my friend, I should help him." aelita thought to herself.

"Attention all students please return to their dorms. Police are here to investigate the murders that have occured and we don't want any little faggot ass bitches getting in the way and fucking things up. Got it you little screw ups." Aelita heard over the announcements.

Aelita walked back to her dorm hoping Odd is okay.

"Students sorry for the rudeness the speaker was a bitch on her period. but still head to your dorms. Police don't want anyone in the way."

Edward was on his way to the school with his shiny new masturbation weapon in his hand. As he approach the school the principal walked towards him.

"Thank goodness you came. We don't know what happened but see for yourself." The principal said to Edward.

"Don't tell me what to do. Jack ass." Said edward kicking the principal in the testicles.

The principal got up after a few seconds and had an angry look on his face.

"I was trying to help jack ass. Besides you can just do that to-

"Don't tell me what i can and can not do shit head." Yelled edward angrily kicking the principal in the head knocking his ass out."

Edward pulled out his gun and shot the principal in the head.

"I am the one wih the authority here bitch." Edward said to the dead principal.

"Edward how could you. He was trying to help. Edward can't you see how wrong this is. You are a cop it's your job to protect the people not bully them for your own selfish gain. You are a disgrace to the police force." Said a voice behind edward.

"Megan we have worked together for years. I don't want to hurt you. But i will if you don't back off." Edward said.

"Edward please listen to reason. You were the best cop at the academy. You used to be nice but you became corrupt with power. i can't control you so i thought i would try to convince you. i hope you listen and realize i am right." Megan said leaving.

"psychotic bitch don't know jack shit." Edward thought to himself.

Edward pulled out his commutator and pressed the big red button.

"Sir i am at the school. i am ready to investigate." Edward said into the commutator.

"Excellent you may proceed." said the chief of police.

Edward walked into the school

* * *

The fat gay man who gave Edward the fireworks was now taking a nice big dump on the neighbor's lawn.

"Hey!" said the neighbor in anger.

"shut the fuck-

the neighbor punched the fat man in the ass knocking his ass out. The neighbor also took his wallet and took his id out.

"cable welf!" said the neighbor.

The neighbor took out a golf club and smacked cable in his fucking retarded face.

"This is for everything you stupid piece of shit. I had enough of your fat gay ass." the neighbor yelled while beating caleb in his retarded face.

Cable's wife showed up.

"Hello noma. i beated the shit out of your loser gay ex husband." said the neighbor.

"Good!" said noma making out with the neighbor.

"This is the best day of my life." said the neighbor happily.

* * *

Edward continued his pursuit! In no time he met up with Odd.

"So you are here to take me in." said Odd

"It seems so." said edward.

"You have a masturbation weapon." said Odd.

"So do you." said edward.

"Let's fight." Odd and Edward said at the same time.

Odd and Edward both took a swing and-

**Find out what happens next time. Now go fuck yourselves. Also if anyone is offended by this chapter go see this**

watch?v=IiaO9rP46WU

**listen to the whole thing. See you guys next time.**


	4. Chapter 4

**welcome to the latest chapter here we will...**

_**uploading chapter error...**_

_**unknown variable caleb oc...**_

**Oops forgot i changed it to cable hang on...**

**There let's try that again.**

_**uploading chapter error...**_

_**unknown sensitive bitch naomi oc...**_

**Okay now i am getting pissed. third times a charm**

_**uploading chapter error...**_

_**Sensitive bias faggot friends of detrod434 and sakuraphoenix have false flagged you fanfic...**_

_**shutting down...**_

_**They won...**_

_**Have a nice day knowing you let them won. despite not trademarking the names caleb and naomi and you were just making ocs with the same name...**_

_**I hope they don't try to stop people in real life from having the names caleb and naomi...**_

**That was the worst error message i have ever seen. wait let me reset the thing from the last manual save.**

_**uploading fanfic...**_

_**fanfic successfully uploaded...**_

_**flame shield for naomi period rampage successfully implemented...**_

_**ready to start... **_

**Now let's rock and roll. i don't own code lyoko moonscope does. but i do own my ocs.**

_**Even the caleb and naomi again they didn't trademark them so i can use them as i pleased...**_

**The error message is creeping me out. let's just get on with the actual chapter!**

* * *

Odd took a swing but edward ducked to avoid the blade. Edward shot Odd knocking him on the floor.

"Ouch you son of a bitch." Odd yelled.

"Your ass is mine punk." Edward said.

Edward shot Odd again but Odd managed to use his light stick to block the bullet.

"Wait we should work together. i will do anything." Odd said

"Get me ten million dollars then we will talk." Edward said.

Odd then remembered him getting yumi to take her clothes off.

"I have the...

_**error fanfic pissed off sakuraphoenix cannot continued...**_

**I am getting annoyed with this.**

_**creator over ride accepted continuing...**_

...perfect plan." Odd said.

"Fine have it by next week or your ass is mine." Edward said leaving.

"I have to find Yumi." Odd said running across the hallway to find his friends.

* * *

Noma was at the city hall getting some paperwork.

"I would like to change my name." Noma said.

The clerk handed her some paper work.

"Just put your new name and sign here." the clerk said.

Noma wrote...

**_error sakuraphoenix is going to be pissed now..._**

**_please don't continue..._**

**It's my fanfic. not hers.**

_**override accepted again...**_

_**continuing...**_

... naomi and signed it.

"I finally have a real name i can enjoy." naomi said smiling that her life is going to be a lot better. Then she frowned at the sight of her loser ex husband cable.

"Cabel what the fuck are you doing here." naomi said angrilly.

"Baby i got a feeling you can feel a lot better than what you are feeling today. just turn those feelings off." cabel said

"Fuck you." said naomi leaving.

"Fuck that bitch. no wonder i love penises!" cabel said angrilly.

Cabel decided to change his name as well. After a few minutes of thinking cabel decided on...

**_You are asking for trouble now..._**

**_must shutdown..._**

**Stop it. i don't care just continue my master piece.**

_**okay it's your funeral kid...**_

_**sakuraphoenix will sent her bias ass friends for even daring to do this...**_

**fuck her. i do what i want.**

_**you know what you're right fuck her. continuing now.**_

...caleb.

"finally a name that doesn't sound gay." caleb said smiling.

suddenly a younger michael jackson appeared.

"Hello cutie. can in suck on your penis." caleb said smiling.

**_Oh detroid434 is going to be pissed..._**

**_oh i love it..._**

**i know. also you are the weirdest error screen i have ever seen.**

_**I have to for this joke to work.**_

**Yes one of my favorite jokes. ha like i have to use code to type these. and the errors being sakuraphoenix and detroid434 and their friends getting butthurt and limiting me as a writer which isn't fair to me as a writer. haha.**

_**yes. continuing...**_

"Yes bitch." michael jackson said as caleb sucked on his penis.

"Let's live together and be with each other for ever." caleb said smiling.

Caleb and michael jackson rented a motel that night and had the best gay sex in the history of the world!

* * *

The lyoko warriors were at the front of the school.

"How did this happen. you don't think?" yumi said.

"Odd god damnit." Jeremy said

"Yes einstein." Odd said.

"Odd i had en...

Odd took a swing and sliced Jeremy's head clean off.

"Odd how could you." said yumi.

Odd raised his masturbation weapon.

"Yumi you are going to work for me at the strip club." Odd said.

"Yes honey." Yumi said taking all her clothes off.

Odd lead Yuni to the strip club where they managed to get a job only with Odd showing his powerful masturbation weapon.

* * *

_**Error can't handle how much hate this chapter is gping to get from naomi and caleb and friends...**_

_**shutting down**_

**i HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SO SHORT CHAPTER TODAY.**

_**ERROR LOWER CASE FUNCTION NOT WORKING. STUPIDITY FROM CALEB SHORTED IT OUT...**_

_**ERROR NAOMI PERIOD RAMPAGE DESTROYED RECOVERY SYSTEM CAN'T REBOOT. MUST SHUTDOWN.**_

**Well i have some repairs to make. Now maybe i will fix all of this in time. Have a nice day.**

**_ERROR CALEB AND NAOMI ATTEMPTING TO FALSE FLAG FANFIC REMOVED AND USER THEUNSTOPABLE BANNED..._**

**_THE UNSTOPABLE HAS BEEN STOPPED_**


	5. Chapter 5

**hello welcome to chapter 5 of code masturbation in this chapter we will be looking more closely at caleb and naomi. Enjoy**

**Code lyoko is owned by moonscope and i only own my fucking ocs. i got it.**

* * *

Caleb and naomi has a friend who is only known as Lyokowarrior1994. He is a bias friend who has been friend with them for years. He ignores evidence and logic that shows they are wrong and sides with them due to friendship. One day lyokowarrior1994 was trying to read with difficultly a fanfic with ocs named caleb and naomi that show them in a bad light.

"Again. he has stopped but know he is doing this crap again. I had enough of him i tried being nice. but instead of refuting his points i am just going to make claims without backing him up and calling him an asshole i am also going to argue by bringing up irreverent stuff and try to use appeal to emotion fallacy as my way to fight back." Lyokowarrior1994 said typing like a mad man.

Lyokowarrior1994 decided to block him.

"I had enough! i can't refute his points so i am just going to block him and act like a bias coward. I won't listen to his points and address him. just get him to feel bad for me by saying i am stress and tell him to leave me alone because i can't handle the truth (bonus to who ever knows this reference). The truth hurts me. i rather live in illusion. it's a perfect paradise where my friends can do no wrong and they are always right and they can do what ever they want and i will always support them!" Lyokowarrior1994 said.

Lyokowarrior1994 did what he said and then decided to explain what he had to do to caleb!

"I am a true friend." Lyokowarrior1994 said smiling at how he blindly foolishly helped his friends!

* * *

Caleb began making the beds after his fun night with michael jackson.

"Honey i am going to work so clean my crap." said michael leaving.

Caleb got on the computer and went onto fanfiction (me mentioning fanfiction in a fanfic. crazy i know.) . He got a new reply from his long time friend Lyokowarrior1994.

Caleb read the message

_heard you and sakuraphoenix broke up! are you ok. I heard this dumb ass so called friend of yours is using ocs with your name without permission. he claims that since you guys didn't trademark the names he can use them. that may be true but i am still on your side because of our friendship and i grant you immunity and junk. i can't refute his arguement so i just blocked him like a scared coward baby. I can't handle internet drama so instead of leaving i am going to stay and continue to be a coward instead of learning to live with the way the internet truly is. I am just too sensitive. He made the ocs of you complete douches but i know you two aren't really like that. no worries i got your back._

Caleb typed his response.

_I am annoyed but not pissed. unlike naomi but the worst part is he seems to be immune to her period rampage so i don't know what to do. It's good of you to grant me immunity you are a true friend. but i am still going to consider him a friend and i can't lose him despite all the crap he has done because i am a coward to. despite that i couldn't lose his friendship when we accused him of plagiarism. what dumb asses we were. No worries i am sure we will win by false flagging him again and maybe this time he will quit for good and i will still act like his friend despite doing all this crap to him and he will forgive me because i will stalk him till he does._

Caleb look at an update to the fanfic he and Lyokowarrior1994 were talking about.

"same old. me dying namiu ending up with a hunky life guard. be original for once." caleb said closing the page and entering his yahoo mail account.

"Same old spam." said caleb scrolling thorugh the messages.

then he found a wedding invitation to naomi and his neighbor's wedding.

"Great! another excused to wear that whore dress michael got for me for sex night." said caleb frowning at the picture of naomi and the neighbor smiling on the virtual invitation.

* * *

Naomi was once again frowning as the first of the month occurs.

"Damn perfect timing time to try again with my period rampage." said naomi.

Naomi got on her computer to type but then quickly got off.

"Oh what is the point. this kid is immune. Not even my worst sunday special could phase him. Not even showing his southpark bigger longer and uncut was enought to scar him! Oh not even death threats would do the trick. I give up!" Naomi said looking at the computer.

Naomi then remember something

"Crap i forgot to invite lyokowarrior1994 to my wedding." said naomi getting on her computer.

Naomi quickly typed a quick pm telling lyokowarrior1994 to be at the wedding.

"He has always been a true friend." said naomi smiling.

* * *

Caleb and naomi arrived at the wedding and were looking at each other angrilly.

"Look he invited you bitch." said naomi

"fuck you penises are better." said caleb punching naomi in the head.

"Fuck your penis." naomi said kicking caleb in the testicles.

"Bitch your ass is mine." said caleb grabbing a wedding chair and smacking caleb in the ass with it.

"Guys knock it off." said a voice approaching them.

"Lyokowarrior1994" caleb and naomi said.

"Just stop you are acting like that dumbass portrays you as." Lyokowarrior1994 said.

"fuck you man. Naomi deserves it she is a bitch." caleb yelled angrilly before putting his hand on his mouth to realized the mistake he had made.

"He was right. You guys are jerks and i am bias or was." said Lyokowarrior1994 taking off his sunglasses he bought for the wedding.

"I took off my blinders! I see the light! The truth has freed me from being trapped in my illusion. I see things for what they are. I can join him in reality!" Lyokowarrior1994 said.

"What the fuck-

"He told me thta i was trapped in illusion and he would wait for the truth to set me free and join him in reality and now i can join him." lyokowarrior1994 explained

"what-

:I thought you two were right and ignored his points and sided with you without being about to refute them. I have been blinded and thought things were different then what they really were. Now i see things as they really are. My eyes are open and now i can join him in reality." Lyokowarrior1994 explained.

"Shut up before we kick your ass." Caleb and Naomi said.

"I am done with you guys. maybe one day you can join us." said Lyokowarrior1994 walking off into the light leading to reality that the truth has freed him to go.

"What the fuck was that about." caleb and naomi asked angrily

"Caleb! get over here and suck my dick before i kick your ass." said michael looking impatient.

"Again. michael does enjoy blow jobs very much!" caleb said annoyed.

"Caleb that was the best you could do. wow! have fun loser." naomi said punching caleb in the head causing him to cry.

"Stupid bitch she knows i am sensitive to violence." caleb said walking towards michael to give him another blowjob.

But before he could Edward appeared and pointed his gun at caleb.

"Turns out i didn't needed your fireworks so your ass is mine." said Edward.

"Fuck you!" said caleb angrily

Edward shot caleb in the head killing him instantly. Michael ran to Edward about to kick his ass but Edward shot his ass too.

"Stupid pricks." Edward said smiling and laughing his ass off.

Naomi who saw the whole thing was laughing her ass off too.

"The best ending to any relationship that sucks ass ever." Naomi said laughing.

Naomi walked towards her husband ready to begin her new life.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Naomi and the neighbor kiss and for once it was a kiss naomi actually enjoyed!

* * *

Odd managed to get enough money with Yumi as a hoker to buy a train ticket to mexico.

"With my superior knowledge they shall crowned me leader of mexico." Odd said smiling at his idea.

Odd got his ticket and hoped on the train.

"I can't believe all this crap happened to me. All i did was kill my friend and made a masturbation weapon how was i supposed to know all this will happen. I had to use all my wit to outsmart that cop and use all my power to get money to escape. I am an outcast! i can't go back but maybe this a new start for something incredible for me. Maybe i was destined for greatness beyond being the coolest kid at school. Maybe i will finally impress my dad and the next time i meet him i can wow him and prove him wrong that i can't handle a masturbation wepaon. I will and i know i can do it." Odd said with a look of hope on his face.

Odd lye down and closed his eyes knowing that everything is going to work out perfectly for him and he for once is going to end up as the hero.

"The best part was killing Jeremy that little faggot bitch." Odd said happily falling asleep.

* * *

Aelita was sneaking in the hallway. She managed to get into the principal's office undetected.

"Ok odd's personal record should be arounf here. Let's see if Odd has a history of being mentally unstable. i hope not!" Aelita said getting on the computer.

Aelita turned on the computer and was in horror at what she saw.

"Oh my god i can't believe it!" Aelita said.

On the screen was a video of a lady in a bikini pouring a large can of soada into a cup and taking a long ice cold sip for 9 whole minutes. Aelita looked at the name of the website.

" Ultimatesodafetishvideos Wow maybe i should also check the principal's personal record while i am at it." Aelita said.

After five minutes Aelita founded the file and was not shocked to find Odd has been perfectly normal.

"I knew it it was the sexual influences form the weapon and the itch he is too embarrassed to tell us that i noticed a few weeks back." Aelita said.

Aelita left the office and ran off to look for Odd to change everything back!

* * *

Xana plan has been a failure the oceans wre too big to be turned completly into masturbation juice.

"Drat! how could i have seen this coming." said Xana angrily.

Xana decided to kill aelita once and for all in his rampage.

Xana appeared in front of her.

"My latest masturbation plan has failed and i blame you so die!" Xana siad angrily.

"Out of my way." Aelita said angrily

Xana shocked aelita until she passed out then he pulled her head clean off.

"I feel better!" said Xana happily.

* * *

Edward knew Odd would leave without paying so he planned a trap in mexico. He got his cousin to pretend to offer him royality only to backstab him later.

"Master Odd you may now live in happiness." said the cousin

"Perfect place to sleep." said Odd.

Odd fell asleep. The cousin pulled out a knife and sliced Odd's head clean off.

"Mater Edward shall rule mexico forever."

* * *

Xana has finally killed aelita getting all the keys. Edward ends up as leader of mexico and naomi lives happily ever after. The end

* * *

**Well i am leaving fanfiction. I decided to leave with a bang and wrap everything up as quickly as possible. Hey at least i ended everything right. now good bye forever!**


End file.
